


blue.

by wondaerlust



Series: lilac. [2]
Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, carol’s pov of my other story red
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-10-18 12:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17581061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wondaerlust/pseuds/wondaerlust
Summary: little notes carol wrote about therese





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is gonna sound complicating but i will still be focusing on ‘red’ until i finish it but in the mean time i will be posting notes here every other day as they come along to me (usually when im in class lol)

Sometimes when i look at her i just wanna touch her face and play with her hair. But it feels like it would be too much, we barely even know each other although I know that I already love her.


	2. 2

Her smile is so beautiful, I really don’t know why she always tries to hide it. And her laugh? Oh dear, I could listen to it all day. And I really wanna be the one who makes her smile, or who makes her laugh...


	3. 3

I was talking to Rindy on the phone today while going home. She passed by and I wished I could stop her, but she seemed busy and the conversation with Rindy didn't seem to be near the ending so I just smiled at her and we both went out own ways.


	4. 4

I keep looking out the window hoping to see her walk down the street. But so far I had no luck. I haven’t seen her for few days and I already miss her so much. Why do I love her this much already?


	5. 5

As I’m brushing my hair getting ready for bed I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing? What’s her night time routine? Does she read books or maybe watches movies? There are so many things I’d love to know about her but I’m not sure if I will...


	6. 6

The whole night of New Year’s I was stuck in a house with a bunch of strangers and Abby. Someone please remind me to take Abby to the most boring place on earth, just to get back at her for this. Anyways, being bored had it’s advantages. I had time to think about her, although I wished she was there with me. Hopefully she wasn’t in any similar situation like me and was actually having fun.


	7. 7

I asked her to help me with something. Of course I could’ve done that by myself, but I just really wanted to see her, and be near her. She did so much more than what I’ve asked her to do, but she seemed really happy to help me, and I was so happy she did as well.


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> doesn’t necessarily fit with the story line but i just wrote this about someone and it felt perfect for this

Flung out of space. That’s exactly the way she is. So beautiful and so tender yet so strange, so unexplainably free and out of this universe. There are no other words to explain the way she is, no other words to describe just how ethereal this incredibly beautiful young woman is. My angel, flung out of space.


	9. 9

We went to theater tonight. I picked some musical. I’ve already seen it, but it was a good thing, because it meant I had more time to appreciate the beauty sitting right next to me. I even caught her a few times staring at me.


	10. 10

I took her out for a lunch today. My excuse was that she barely ever leaves her house anymore. But truthfully I just really wanted to see her and lunch was perfect for that. I just hope I wasn’t too obvious with that...


	11. 11

Sometimes I wonder how great our lives would be if we were together. If we lived in the same house and slept in the same bed. How bright our mornings would be and how steamy our nights could get. This is all going too slow and maybe it's for the better. Maybe we're not ready yet for anything more, but I'm extremely impatient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for disappearing sometimes, but sometimes I just don't have any ideas and I really don't wanna force any of the chapters because this story means a lot to me and I give my all when writing it


	12. 12

We talked about my life with Harge today. I can’t count how many times I wanted to say “I wish that was you with me in Paris” or “If only you went with me traveling around Europe.” But maybe some day. Maybe some day we will be able to go wherever we want together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was wondering do you like chapters with heart breaking realizations and thinking or the short descriptions of the day more?


	13. 13

I can see that the poor girl is struggling with her feelings. As older and more mature one, in this situation, I guess I should probably tell her that what she is feeling is the same thing I am feeling too. But there is just something stopping me from doing so. It’s as if I am afraid of something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t usually mention the age gap because i honestly dont think it matters and don’t really care about much but i just felt like its something carol would care about in this situation


	14. 14

Every morning when she’s going to work, we walk to this cute coffee shop and just sit there and talk about literally anything. I tell her I’m going shopping afterwards. But what she doesn’t know is that I don’t really go shopping, I just like to spend mornings with her, so I pretend that I do.


	15. 15

Today she came over for tea and we had a really great time just talking about everything and anything. Maybe I went too far, too fast, but after I left our tea cups in the kitchen, I came back and put my hands on her shoulders. After that she acted kinda weird. Hopefully that didn’t scare her off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way if anyone ever gets any ideas or just wants to talk about carol you can follow me on twitter and dm me lol im @dearestcaroI (it has i instead of l)


	16. 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s been so long since ive uploaded anything but i’ve been really sick and then it was my 18th birthday so i guess i got one more year to find my Carol

I got this trip to Los Angeles and it’s not that I don’t have anyone to go with me, I’m sure Abby would go in a heartbeat. But I really want to try and ask Therese if maybe she would like to come with me. I’m scared she’ll say no.


	17. 17

I got sick and she came over with soup and all other food (most of it VERY unhealthy but I ate it just because it made her happy). God I could not breathe but I wasn’t sure was it because I was sick or because she was so breathtakingly beautiful. She even watched the Housewives with me, can you believe it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lets just say that i had an amazing day with this woman i like and that im not usually this cheesy but i also am i guess?????


	18. 18

She and Abby were both here today and at one moment Abby pulled her to the other room. God I really hope she didn’t scare her off or something.


	19. 19

I had a job interview so naturally I asked the first person that came to my mind (not that she even had to come, she practically lives in my mind now) to babysit Rindy. When I came home I saw them playing with Rindy’s train set. Oh, how I wish our every day could be like this.


	20. 20

I haven’t asked Therese if she would go with me to LA yet, I guess that I’m scared. Maybe after Rindy’s birthday I could try and ask her. After all, I’ve got nothing to lose I guess...


	21. 21

After Rindy’s birthday Therese stayed. Abby was there as well and for some reason I felt as if Therese didn’t like Abby. She must’ve told her something to scare her the other day...


	22. 22

I went by Therese’s house today to ask her to come with me on this trip. But no one was home so I left her a note, telling her to come by my house as soon as possible.


	23. 23

“Yes, I’d love to.” It was all I wanted to hear. And it was all she said. This is gonna be an amazing trip, I can already see it. I can’t wait to experience the beauty that is Los Angeles with my favorite angel.


	24. 24

I’m going over to her house later today to help her with packing things for our trip. I’m so excited for the trip, I have planned so many things we can do when we get there and I can’t wait to tell her about them.


	25. 25

We spent such a beautiful night yesterday. I helped her pack and after that we just sat on her bed talking. She even let me brush her hair. God, I would do anything just to be close to her.


	26. 26

In just a few days I will be in California with Therese. Now I’m not really sure what scares me most, flying on a plane or being around her so much that I might tell her how I actually feel. Probably the second one.


	27. 27

I could just stare at her all day appreciating the beauty of her face. And that’s what I decided to do today. She has some papers she had to finish for work and I just sat there staring at her. I hope she didn’t find it creepy.


	28. 28

“Oh how I love you.” Shit. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Carol what is wrong with you. Get your shit together. You can’t just go around telling her you love her. Even though I do. I really do. Hopefully she doesn’t look too deep into that.


	29. 29

Today is the day!! I’m in the car with Abby. She’s been giving me the look the whole day. It’s like she knows what’s up and she’s trying to get me to tell her all the details. Well, fortunately for her and unfortunately for me, she hasn’t missed much.


	30. 30

Yes I’m terrified of planes, so what? Everyone has an irrational fear and planes are mine. But yeah pretending to be asleep because I’m scared just so I can be close to her might be a little too much but I don’t care.


	31. 31

We’re not in the same room and that bothers me a lot. But I didn’t wanna seem as if I wanna get in her bed so easily so I had to get us separate rooms. There’s only one wall separating us but I really miss her if that makes any sense?


	32. 32

We found a cute park near the hotel. And we spent a perfect night there together. We talked about our lives and what we like and don’t like. Can you believe her favorite color is yellow?


	33. 33

I needed a new perfume. And I wanted her to help me. Her opinion means the world to me and I thought maybe she could pick it for me so that it would remind me of her whenever she’s not around.


	34. 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don’t hate me for not uploading in so long, i had a writing block and then i was in greece for a week and didn’t even have time to breathe let alone write but here i am

We went to this beautiful restaurant after she helped me pick perfume. We sat in a very hidden place and the whole time all I could think of is how intense this whole situation is and how much I would love to kiss her. But it didn’t happen, we just talked about so many different things and I found out she is a bit of a book hoarder.


	35. 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you really thought i was gonna leave you with only one note after disappearing for like two weeks? nope, here comes another one

When we got to hotel I couldn’t hold it back no more. As we were standing outside our rooms, I invited her in for a drink. Thanks god she said yes or I don’t know what I would have done. As soon as she walked in my room and the door closed, I pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. It felt so so good to finally be able to do that.


	36. 36

She spent the night with me. We talked for so long and didn’t even notice it was already 5am. I just didn’t want her to leave, so I told her she could sleep in my room. We spent the rest of the night snuggled up together.


	37. 37

I really don’t wanna leave this place. We had such a wonderful time here. But I finally feel so much better knowing that she feels the same way I do. I really don’t know what the future holds for us or what will happen when we get back to New York but I’m sure it won’t end on this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after this im posting the last chapter and then moving on to final story ‘lilac’ that will be about their life after the trip. Thank you so much for reading and dealing with my very slow updates.


	38. 38

I could spend my life on the plane but only if she’s there to hold me. All of my fears disappear once she’s there with me and hopefully she’ll be there for a long time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this is it for the ‘blue’. i really hope you enjoyed it and now we’re moving on to ‘lilac’ which will be mostly about their life together and im not sure who’s pov it will be from ill most likely mix it and then write carol or therese as chapter title.


End file.
